Man. I love Fridays. ‘Cause, like, Friday is the day after Thursday, which is after Wednesday, y’know – homework, bummer. But Fridays? Parties and fun! And by now, thanks to the power of the Internet, I’m sure most of you have seen the video about that most awaited day of the week – “Friday,” by Rebecca Black. Now, here’s a 13-year-old who feels me on this one. A lot of people have given this little girl a whole lot of e-shit because of it, which frankly confuses and kind of offends me. Why them haters gotta hate? As a peace-loving party person, I’m sticking up for my girl. Get excited, because this week I watched “Friday” by Rebecca Black.
So here’s the thing about this chick – she tells it like it is. There’s no bullshitting around. She wakes up at 7 a.m., heads downstairs for a bowl of cereal, meets her friends at the bus stop and has a slight problem deciding where to sit in a car. This is the first verse of the song, and she’s totally keeping it real. It’s the daily grind, you know? We all get it. She’s really taking a cue from the legendary Ke$ha, who also tends to sing her actions (like waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy and then brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack). As the saying goes, “Write what you know,” and Rebecca is totally doing that. Did you know that Saturday is the day after Friday and then Sunday comes afterwards? She does. Is that the extent of all that she knows? Debatable.
But as much as I support this girl, I wish she’d tell us more about these parties on this particular Friday. She’s 13, right? So, what, is this like a clown party with loot bags or are these rich kids going straight for the gutter with the double Cs (cocaine and champagne)? Does this make the random 30something black dude rapping about school buses the clown, the dealer, or just a huge pedo freak? Because, yeah, there’s an adult rapper rolling down the highway, maybe a smidgen too excited for the weekend. RB better know her rights is all I’m sayin’.
But when we pull up to the party, it’s just a bunch of bored preteens smiling awkwardly at each other. There better be some goodies in those loot bags to spruce up the mood or Black will have built up her Friday for absolutely no reason. Pretty sure the car ride over to the party was more exciting than the party itself. Anticlimactic, for sure. But there’s time yet for these kids to take a few lessons from the Sheen Machine, so hopefully in a few years, we’ll get a glimpse of just how “fun fun fun fun” their weekend can really get.
But really, was this video even worth the shitstorm of Internet flaming and web-trollery? Her one mistake was being born to wealthy, deluded parents who bought her a record deal with two super-creepy producers. And okay, yeah, masking her questionable voice by ramming it up the autotune shitter? Who doesn’t do that these days? Realistically, in like three years, she might pull a Tila Tequila, doing lines and stripping, falling over on webcams because of the emotional scars left from this experience. Do we need another celebrity whose fame relies on being a huge fuck-up? So here’s my plea for mercy on behalf of this poor girl and her unfortunate situation – OH WAIT SHE COULD HAVE PULLED THE VIDEO DOWN BUT INSTEAD SHE RELEASED AN ACOUSTIC VERSION. Well, there goes that argument.
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